Do people know anything about Australia?

Join us now as we check out questions and answers on an Australian tourism Web site.

Q: Which direction is north in Australia? (From the U.S.)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here, and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (U.S.)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney -- can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles; take lots of water.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (U.S.)
A:
A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (U.S.)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year-round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (U.S.)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.


Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (U.S.)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I have developed a new product tha!
t is the
fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (U.S.)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.